Saturday, January 3, 2015

building a new life.


I figured the new year deserves a little reflection on what I have done with my life, what I am doing with my life and what I would like to do with my life. This post has been written and re written so many times. I still don't think it is as articulate as I'd like, but here it is.

I always refer to different points in time as my different lives. I had my college life. I have my summer life. Right now I'm living my Berkeley life. During each live I have lived, there is always the plan in the back of my head for what the next life will be. Maybe its me not being appreciative of what I've got then. Maybe its me caught up in the future. Maybe its that I've not found the right life yet.

What is the answer to this fixation on the future? I could try to be more appreciative of my current life, which is always a good plan. I could also stop dreaming of new lives, which sounds like a horrible plan. I think I keep dreaming because I am afraid of is settling into a new life, finding out I hate it, then feeling stuck.

I've spent the past five years of my life doing what a young person is supposed to do. I went to college. I got an internship. I moved to the big city. I got another internship. Now I'm trying to figure out what the next step is. I think the expected thing is stay in the city and get a job. I'd move from one tidy little box into the next tidy little box. I would be doing what one is supposed to do. But I am tired of doing what one is supposed to do.

So here is my new year's resolution. I am done living in boxes. I am not going to fight my dreams of new lives, instead I am going to create a way of living in which I can be moving from life to life whenever I please. No sitting around waiting for this job to be over, this season, this semester. No more feeling guilty for wanting to go somewhere new. I will now feel the freedom of going where ever that is that I want.

Sharing my bus ideas with friends and family I feel like the consensus is that I am crazy. Usually its crazy in a fun way, but not always.

 There is the thought that building a bus to live in is a crazy fun idea. Sure everyone pins pictures of cute little air stream trailers on their pinterest and talks of adventure, but who actually goes through with it? Who wouldn't love to have a tiny house all their own, its such a crazy idea! But its just that. Its an idea.

Then there is the crazy when people realize I am actually going to do it and wonder if I know what I am getting myself into. I know there are some hard things ahead of me and a lot of problems I will have to figure out how to solve. Can I fix a diesel engine? no. Do I know how to plumb a house? no. However the tiny house community is full of stories of people who needed a change and decided to build their own house with every little experience. I may not be a mechanic or a plumber, but I am a carpenter, a welder and a creative problem solver. So they are right, I don't know what I'm getting myself into, but I'm damn sure going to figure it out.

I've got so many lovely little inspiring quotes on my pinterest it is hard to choose just one. I settled on the one above to open the post but to close it I choose one of my favorite lyrics from a song by Jason Webley.

"You're wondering if I'm crazy, well you never have to worry of course I am!"


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